Its Saturday...

A quiet house, my morning coffee & a good book. Now if I can remember how to read after getting up early on a Saturday, it would be perfect.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Who says I don't eat healthy?

I had Jelly Beans and Coffee for Breakfast. Talk about a nutrition!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

If we are what we eat...

Then this means I'm Fast, Cheap and Easy.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Happy Taco Tuesday!

I think the Olympics would be more interesting if the participants had to eat Tacos at the same time they did their events.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

How's this?

Doing what I do best requires a safety net, a license and a pardon from the governor.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Think about this one:

Isn't your name kind of like a verbal tattoo? Because once your parents give you one, you're stuck with it for life.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Does this sound familiar?

There are times I wish certain people would just go to sleep.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

A word of waring is in order...

I would like to remind all of you that knowing me is not only bad for your health, but also very detrimental to your property values as well.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Now here this...

I'm giving humanity exactly 18 seconds to do what I want or I will have no other choice but to tell my Mom.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Ever wonder about this?

I wonder what cartoons watch for entertainment?
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

And how do you feel?

If I had just a teeny bit more energy, I'd feel Blah.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

I was such a loser as a kid...

Even my imaginary friends picked me last to be on their teams.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

On the subject of Home Security...

How safe do you think my house is when I have a dog named "Chicken"?
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

I'm serious.

Dear friends: Sleep is something I'm going to try out. I figure if Joe Biden can do it when his boss is talkng, it can't be that bad!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

A quick letter...

Dear friends: Sleep is something I'm going to try out. I figure if Joe Biden can do it when his boss is talkng, it can't be that bad!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Rude awakening 101:

Talk about a rude awakening, I just realized its day light!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Think about rthis for a second...

If "Another One Bites The Dust" don't you think those after this one would have gotten the hint and gone home?
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Read the following:

Its 5:31 California time and I really should not be allowed to stay up this late, but who are you going to tell...my Mom?
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

What a country!

Only in America can you play Mahjong and listen to Aerosmith at the same time!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

I'm a giver!

I have a thought I'd like to share with you all ( ). Thank you.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

I can't get no respect:

I asked the Make-A-Wish Foundation to follow me on Twitter, but they said no because they didn't think I was sick enough.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Talk about a lack of respect...

But even to this day, my kids won't call me "Mr. Incredible".
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Don't be Redundant.

Don't tell me no. You know I'm going to do it anyways.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

When I was a kid...

My Mom & Dad sound proofed our house...then locked me outside.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Happy Taco Tuesday!

There is no such thing as a "Vegetarian Taco". It is a "Salad Wrap" not a "Vegetarian Taco". Thus endith the lesson.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

I've been working towards my future...

I'm in training for a job that hasn't been invented yet.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

A quick question...

Why is it when you have nothing left, people keep asking more out of you?
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

This is important...

Forget "The Five Second Rule". In my house its "If You Can Get To It Before The Dog Does Rule" that counts.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

I was just thinking about something...

My question is this "If you tickle a penguin long enough, will he squirt fish out of his nose?"
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

A First Step Towards Uniting The World...

Wouldn't the world make more sense if everybody went to sleep and woke up all at the same time?
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

A Milestone has been reached!

Considering this is my 500th Tweet, I decided to save it for something really special, so here goes: "This is my 500th Tweet!"
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

A First For Me...

I had an idea once...and I like it!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

It's Tax Day!

Imagine if the American public told Congress "We're shutting down & we're not going to pay you because we don't have a budget or the money"?
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Need I Say More?

Heaven: The Ultimate After Party.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

And what kind of day are you having?

Today is my "I Want To Run Off Screaming Into Oblivion" kind of day.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Happy Taco Tuesday!

"You will bring me Tacos...You will bring me Tacos" (I'm really hoping this mass hypnotic suggestion works.)
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

This is really pitiful.

I was just talking to myself when I told myself to shut up.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Rule # 64A

People like me should not stay up all night and watch Jackie Chan movies.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Gratitude...

Its times like these I enjoy being a mammal.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

No wonder I get headaches...

I've really got to quit thinking about things that haven't been invented yet.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

I Was Sooooo Close!

I thought I just had a flash of insight, but it turned out to be nothing more than the bathroom light blowing out when I flicked the switch.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

I'm ready!

You know the point where grandparents are ready to hand back there grandkids? I'm sooo there right now!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

From such "humble" beginnings...

I'm amazed at the humility of my granddaughter "Roo". She is riding her bike on the sidewalk and yelling at the top of her lungs...Go Meee!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Think about it...

Intelligent Life on Earth. Interesting Theory.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Stupid Impulse #47:

Texting somebody to ask them how to spell a word.
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Lines that just missed being in the movies:

"Be Taco to each other!" And "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a Taco." Happy Taco Tuesday!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Does Life Make Sense?

For those of you who have followed the ranting and ravings of my work over the past few years, you would understand that the above statement has almost become the mantra or theme of my writing. Never mind the fact that there are a huge amount of people that are out there writing books who basically want to give you a “warm fuzzy feeling” that everything is going to be ok.

Guess what…it’s never going to happen. Why? Because most people are living to a preconceived set of rules written by other people who think they know how to better live your life than you do yourself. Now before you think that I’m a card caring atheist who believes that evolution and man’s basic instinct to be good is all that one needs to get through life, let me explain something.

I’m a Christian. I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins, then rose from the dead three days later and by accepting him as my Lord and Master, that when I die, I will be with Christ for eternity. That part of life does make sense; in fact, it’s the only thing in life that makes sense. It’s the other stuff that I want to talk about that doesn’t.

It is the people who are without Christ that make life very questionable as the logic they are using to define it. Take Science in relation to The Big Bang for example. Some of my favorite channels to watch are ones like The History Channel, The Science Channel, and The National Geographic Channel and so forth because they are very informative…to a point. See, these shows are made by some very smart people who have come to the most stupid of conclusions and observations.

Let’s look at the Big Bang Theory for a moment. Science has said that at first there was absolutely nothing then there was a huge explosion and the result from that explosion is what we see around us. All the planets, galaxies, comets, meteor’s, even our molecular make up, are the result of that so called “Big Bang”. And it all took place about 13.7 BILLON years ago. Life, as the scientists call it, is a haphazard accident that there really is no real meaning or order to it. So, in essence, nothing blew up and here we are.

Now if you believe the above paragraph, then indeed, Life makes no sense; because if you take God out of the equation of life, then indeed, it makes no sense whatsoever.

The Bible says in Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth.” Notice the word “created”. In order to create, you must have order, you must have a plan and He did it all, according to Genesis 1, in six literal days. Colossians 1:16 and 17 says “For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And he is before all things, and in Him all things consist. God is not a god of chaos, but one of order.

Scientists have said that they have show beyond a reasonable doubt that the Universe had a beginning…and I agree with them. But where we disagree is when and how it started. If I say that God created it in 6 literal days roughly about 6000 years ago, I’m accused of bringing religion into the topic and religion has no place in science, yet, they can bring in that the Universe “suddenly came into being 13.7 billon years ago” it’s science!

Here is my question for the scientists: “Where you there?” I mean, how did they know? They weren’t there! It’s like what the Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 1:12 “Professing to be wise, they became fools”

It all comes down to Faith. What do you believe in? How do you live your life? Do you live it full of chaos and accidents? Do you believe that everything you do in life is nothing more than chance? Do you believe that there is a reason for your very existence and that you are not just an accident of a life form in the grand scheme of the Universe?

Life can make sense with Christ. If He took the time to create the Universe with order and logic He defiantly has time for you. He wants you to become a child of His. He wants to bring meaning your life. You are not an accidental life form in but a definite creation in God’s plan.

Life can make sense…If you want it to.

Why can't we...?

If we had "Dancing with Wolves" & now we have "Dancing with the Stars" why can't we have "Dancing with the Brain Dead Members of Congress"?
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

I've Been Busy!

I've done so many strange and bizarre things in my life...and I'm only half way through the list!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Ta Da!!!!

I was just awarded the "Totally Messing up the Worship Songs During Church" merit badge!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Ahhh memories...

In High School I was voted "Most likely not to be asked to do something important."
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961

Giving Credit When Its Due...

I was up all night and I slept most of the day. I just don't know how Dracula does it!
Gary Nickels
Writer, Speaker and Safely Observing the World Since 1961