It's the Day Before Thanksgiving...For a Turkey

You have to wonder, it being the day before Thanksgiving and all, if there are indeed a lot of turkeys out there just wondering if they are going to live to see another sunrise. Yes, granted, there are a lot of their fellow turkeys that have already walked their last mile and now are frozen, headless, carcasses proudly displayed in your grocer’s freezer.

But for the turkey that is alive now, it is a totally different story. To them, making to Thanksgiving morning is a lot like them winning the lottery. I mean think about this for a second. You are a turkey and you are in the pen with a bunch of other turkeys. The date of execution is set for tomorrow. You know that there is a good chance that either you or somebody you are sharing pen space with is not going to be here tomorrow. Everybody there in the pen is looking at each other and wondering “Who’s it going to be this year?”

The older turkeys in the pen are telling the stories about the how dumb young ones who ate like pigs and worked out to impress the lady turkeys ended up on the farmer’s wife’s platter with stuffing crammed into a body cavity because they “looked good enough to eat”.

The wiser/pen-smart turkeys have been performing a Jenny Craig and have been dieting for the past two months, losing considerable amount of body mass and then for the last three weeks, haven’t bathed so that they look skinny, stinky and the least appetizing bird in the pen.

The richer/white collar turkeys are burning up the phone lines in calls to their attorney’s to get a stay from the governor, or if you are really hooked into the corridors of power, the President himself.

Of course, there is always some nut of a turkey that spends his time walking around the pen carrying a sign that says “The End Is Near!”

Well, we really don’t know what the fate of all the turkey’s are going to be, but there is one thing I do know: The turkey I’m having for dinner tomorrow, wasn’t that lucky.